Success

The books focused on improving your successes in life are astounding in number and scope. They run the range from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to any number of “irrefutable laws” meant to guide you in life. Whether preachers or politicians or educators or scientists, the books have been written to connect to the need for improvement and to appeal to everyone’s sense of human limitation and uncertainty.

In other words, human limits and frailty, in all its forms – sells. Untold numbers sell the promise of “bigger, better, more and more often.” The subtle arguments are mixed with the very plain ones. You aren’t good enough without something else. You aren’t going to be successful enough unless you get something you haven’t yet gotten. You won’t have what you want until you see the opportunities you are missing and then you will have the desire to reach higher. The thoughts and suggestions continue until we assume we do need to find out what it is we are missing and then we should chase it with a passion.

I know there are a lot of books with things that appeal to us: “How to clean your house in 30 minutes.” But it won’t work unless your house is already clean or you have a team of 50 to come and attack it in that “half hour.” There are books on “How to travel through Europe on $10 a day” --- that’s an old book, the new ones are $20 or more a day and you better have a grandmother who lives there to make it on that and that doesn’t include the price of getting there in the first place. “How to make your child a genius” is obviously a book that many parents will want to read, but a big part of the “genius” mentality requires both a mental capacity and an environment that stimulates such. It isn’t that there aren’t a lot of individuals able to learn a great deal…what is missing most often is the discipline to apply what we learn to usefulness in the world.

In all of our efforts to follow the “new” and “improved” and “better” road to success, we must recognize that our real need is to define what being successful as a human being is all about in the first place. God offers us insight best understood in the person of Jesus Christ…sent to reveal truth, righteousness, and life in right relationship to God in every dimension. Jesus came with a promise and an invitation for us to discover and embrace the life God would enable us to know. It is a life to be lived “in Him.” It is a life to be lived “following Him.” It is a life to be lived “with Him” … always. That kind of living will mark the only success that will ever really matter to anyone, anywhere, at any time.

So the next time you decide to pursue excellence…consider the most excellent One that we have ever been invited to imitate. Putting Jesus first in your life will allow Him to bring you to true success for everlasting days.

Sexuality and the Church

Embarking on this subject will always raise eyebrows at the very least or raise questions from all corners as to the appropriateness of such a discussion within the context of the Church. It is true that many have assumed that human sexuality has no place being discussed within the faith community as though faith and sexuality have no common ground.

As the scriptures relate God creating males and females in His image, we are put on notice quickly in our reading that sexual matters were very much a part of God’s plan.
In other words, God invented sex and we should embrace such a notion, not run from it.
Where we find people having problems is when the church is far too silent on the subject or when generations of people have suggested by a failure to discuss sexuality that the church should keep its collective voice silent in regard to matters that are at the very least interesting and at most culturally saturating.

Pastorally, matters of sexual relationship and behaviors, good and evil, right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate --- are always “on the table” in the lives of the people who comprise the community of faith. The issues are many and too often very central to the concerns of members of the church as they relate to children, husbands and wives in and out of appropriate relationship, matters of marriage, remarriage, divorce, dating during widowhood, and unresolved grief in the face of loss as it relates to physical changes, death or separation.

The church cares about sexuality. Parents care about sexuality. Children care about sexuality. Senior adults care about sexuality. At every turn questions should be
answered, information should be shared, knowledgeable resources should be available and intentional discussion ought to be occurring. Too often it does not. Why? There are certainly many reasons -- community mores, ignorance, embarrassment, not wanting to sound like you don’t already know or understand something – but that makes it all the more important for sexual matters to be discussed.

Parents have often struggled to address sexual matters because they have failed to answer questions at teachable moments. It is often far easier to sidestep the questions with remarks like “I’ll explain when you’re older.” It has been more than once the subject of television comedy to have parents attempting to discuss sexuality with their children. And to be honest, some parents have very “warped” attitudes about sexuality.

Recently I heard an eighth grade Sunday School teacher give a three minute summary of some long before taught Sunday School lesson. He summarized by saying…1,2,3 or its not for me. One…it is between a man and a woman. Two…it is pleasing to God as he describes it should be in scripture… Three…it is in a relationship of marriage. 1,2,3 or its not for me… It seemed to be a point well made with the youth who were the audience.

I remember distinctly the 6th grade boys and girls at my school being separated and the day before being given notes to have signed by our parents for a local physician and a nurse to come and talk to us about the facts of life. My parents signed. I went.
We saw charts and diagrams on an overhead projector. For all I could tell from that hour of explanation, sexuality looked like it had something to do with plumbing, large basketballs and darts. When we were asked if we had any questions, all 200 of us remained very silent -- just like we were at church, only quieter.

As time passed, discussions of matters like “where do babies come from” did occur and more light was given to the processes involved. The truth is most people struggle to gather that knowledge from a host of places, many of which are not well geared to giving a moral, ethical, and Christian point of view about the subject.

Too many youth today have not been educated regarding matters of human sexuality. We need to voice the truth that sexual relationship demands responsibility. The capacity to be responsible for “bringing life” into the world should also mean being prepared to fulfill that role. The need for an environment of support and care and nurture, best accomplished by a mother and father present and involved in the lives of their children for all the years of their growth and development is an essential truth that should be clearly described and modeled. As prevalent as divorce is, it is not now and never will be a quick and easy solution for anyone who faces the responsibilities of parenting and such decisions bring complex and continuing struggles for generations of children.

Health issues today are clearly obvious reasons to educate our community regarding sexual practice. The extremely high incidence of sexually transmitted disease in an environment of sexual promiscuity is a prescription for long term health disasters affecting countless individuals. At the same time, recognizing the bounds of appropriate sexual relationship as a “1,2,3 or its not for me” opportuntity for healthy, joyful, marital union is a clear winner in the health and family categories of what is best for all involved.

In a community with dozens of unwed mothers; in a place where we have voice and influence to be heard, the church needs to stand and speaking the truth in love, let the joy of Christian sexuality in the context of responsible, God-honoring, marriage relationships be described and affirmed. For every unwed mother, there is also a man failing to meet the responsibilities of appropriate sexual conduct and relationship. There are no double standards in the sight of God. Christian relationships…in the church, in the home, and in the context of sexual expression will go far to build the hopeful future so many are looking to find.

There is so much more to be said…but for now, as a community of faith, let us resolve not to be so silent.

Finding Common Ground

The church in today’s world often struggles at the point of engagement. In our secular culture, the church frequently falls silent as an influence of salt and light in the midst of a society burdened with the frequency of demanding voices and unsettling demands for our attention. It is true that few can reasonably expect to compete with Broadway, the Vegas Strip, and Wall Street for the attention of most people who are wholeheartedly absorbed into the popular culture of American Idols, Jeopardy, and Deal or No Deal. Every relationship seems to be a bartered or brokered connection with paybacks or rewards determined at the expense of those who lose. Even within the church, the mindset of many is to associate matters of worship or discipleship as items on the inventory of “to be done” or “left undone” based on personal time availability – determined by the cultural demands of the moment. Golf outweighs witnessing every time. Baseball practice consistently wins over choir rehearsal. And ACC Basketball for sure outweighs Sunday night worship. Jesus said it would be harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. Heaven help us all if the opportunity comes only on a sunny day. The lake, the river, the mountain, the ballgame, the “something else” will surely come as an option. Do we dare stop long enough to listen to God?

Numerous appeals are made from time to time to change the schedule of worship. The idea of different times is not the real issue. The concern is for convenience. The issue is participation level … when the competition is not so great. Perhaps we could appeal for Tuesday noon abbreviated services on a bi-monthly basis as a culturally accepted time to honor our God?

The ability of those in our generation to attend to God at any time is challenged constantly. The need however is a common one. We need God. We need hope. We need salvation. And our need is answered by God’s love. Our urgent effort to find an identity and meaning in all our searching or the attempt to turn off our self-made despair by distraction and self-medicating ourselves into stuporous states of existence remains common. People are desperately looking to make sense of the lives they live and without receiving the gift of God, they fail to find it.

Our common ground is our common need of God’s grace, forgiveness, and love to guide us. His instruction is life-giving. Why else would we accept the rebuke and call to repentance of our Lord and still desire to keep following Him if it were not Truth that spoke with power and brought positive effect for our future. In the sending of His son to be our Savior, God initiated the way of hope for us all. Appealing to our common misguided attentiveness to things is not the place from which life will be renewed. Awakening to the God who loves us is.

National Day of Prayer

This week marks an observance on Thursday of a National Day of Prayer. The date has been changed from that first on set on February 19 in 1795 by President George Washington, but in general, the intention of such a day should be understood to be a day of thanks to God for his blessings and a call for clear recognition that such gifts of prosperity as we know are not to be taken for granted nor expected apart from an attention to God’s leading and an earnest desire to share such benefits with “the whole family of mankind.” Washington penned a thanks and call to prayer for “Liberty with order;” aims to seek the “preservation of our peace, foreign and domestic;” and the recognition that our nation should be “more and more a safe and propitious asylum for the unfortunate of other countries;” to encourage habits of “sobriety, order, and morality and piety;” along with avoiding any thought for supposing ourselves worthy of such blessings if we abused them or were ungrateful for them.

Strangely, the National Day of Prayer has been somehow endowed with political overtones in our own generation to suggest that some people have a better angle on praying for the “right stuff” over others. Even some religious leaders are suggesting that only certain political policies are receiving airtime on National Day of Prayer event promotions. Others are utilizing the day as a day to call for Christians to “fight” for their right to pray, because evil forces aim to take away that right. Still others suggest that by participating in certain Day of Prayer events, we will win the day in the eyes of our political leaders to let them know what we think and what we believe.

Curiously, I question whether or not any of the above qualifies as a prayer. Even old President Washington, for whatever political mileage he might have gained to declare such a day for our nation, remains far removed in his remarks from such a perilous suggestion that by praying we will “show our power” or “get our way.” In fact, Washington stated clearly that such treasures as were established and known in the context of our Nation were gifts of God and were gifts that required a stewardship of purpose and an aim to acknowledge and give thanks to God for allowing them to be a part of our experience. Today, we seem to think we can improve our status by image consciousness without any concern at all for honoring God.

The truth is a National Day of Prayer only scratches the surface of what I know most people are praying about. When you are facing a major heart surgery, or a cancer diagnosis, or enduring the death of your spouse…politics are not the order of the day. When you are homeless or jobless or an unregistered “alien” your concerns are not for lofty words that call for battles against anyone. Your heart cry is to God who sees and knows and understands every circumstance of your life. Your appeal is to the One who alone can supply the needs of the hour. Whether you are one with a sick child or a broken family relationship, or one bowed down with the troubles and trials of every day, or one suffering with the fears and pains that disturb our souls, let us bow before our Maker in humble plea and pray.

Make this day…a day of prayer. Make every day…a day of seeking God’s will above all others. Make your prayer…the truth of your heart…freely shared with the Lord who loves you and calls you to be his own.