Crises of Faith

This week’s revelation of Mother Teresa’s letters outlining a painful personal struggle accompanying her 50 years of ministry to the poor and dying is no surprise for most of us who engage in ministry. What may come as a surprise to many however is the fact that people of faith do struggle with the painful and often debilitating realities of ministry in a world full of pain and suffering and difficulty.

Even more so today than a generation ago when ministers received in general a more respected place in our American culture, the emotional and spiritual struggles of service remain a constant of most ministry endeavors. The question is, how does that inpact our personal faith and our personal emotions? For Mother Teresa, her letters to a spiritual advisor were open and honest about her spiritual and no doubt physical “emptiness.” As St. John of the Cross described…she experienced “a dark night of the soul.”

Martin Marty, a contemporary theologian wrote of his similar feelings in “The Cry of Absence” following the death of his wife. Both of these accounts relate the very human emotions of such times and the very honest struggle with God about the reasons for such painful experiences. Mother Teresa endured her hearts pain as she labored tirelessly (but nonetheless in exhaustion). She endured…persevered…and was sustained to serve. In the same way she recounts moments when she “has no faith.” She is certainly not alone. The scriptures frequently recount Jesus challenging his own disciples as they experienced similar moments. He asked them “Where is your faith?” …”Have you no faith?”…and said “O ye of little faith.” And then he reminded them that faith, in the smallest “quantity” could move mountains. Sometimes we stand mercifully at the place of utter loss…feeling empty…alone…and without any measure of faith at all…yet Christ’s love abides…His presence in the darkness…in the most “absent” of our feelings…still abides with us. His word is, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Mother Teresa’s life is proof of God’s capacity to use empty vessels that He fills. As we allow him to use us, darkness may well be a part of the journey…but we are not forsaken.

As I thought of Mother Teresa’s struggles, I thought of gifted pediatric oncologist who was one of the most amazing doctors anyone knew. He took all the patients that everyone else had already given up on, who had cancer…and these were all children. Day after day he labored to save them and day after day he faced the reality of disease and advanced stages of illness that could not be turned back. At the same time he comforted, consoled, and grieved each loss. It became a heart-wrenching and emotionally devastating occupation. One day, this amazing doctor, came to the end of his own ability to cope…and he took his own life. Such is the pain that can overwhelm us. For all of us who would dare to follow Christ and who would touch the suffering, the poor, the weak, the hungry…we will grow weary…we will reach the end of our limits. The question is, will we understand in those moments that we are not alone? God is with us there…at the hour of our betrayal, in the passages of our own humiliation, in the moments of our agony, at the instant of our anguishing thirst, in the struggles of our hearts bursting at their seams, in all the vulnerability of our humanity and weakness…He is with us there.

And that is not the end of the story. It is in the face of death that God has conquered …For with God, nothing is impossible. For those enduring a crisis of faith, keep going…share your heart and its suffering …there is healing in talking to God about it all…He can take our pain and transform it into a thing of beauty and a testimony of God’s redemption. Remember Jesus’ words -- The Kingdom of God is at hand – as near as your heart’s door. Remember…God is with us…He knows the dark road we may be traveling and he has come to save us. Look to Him…and find in Him the life…and the way. Follow on…

Checks and Balances

Life has interesting ways of bringing us to value certain things at certain times in certain ways. A woman reported the loss of her home in a flood but said she was able to save everything important to her -- her six children. On another day of the week, in ordinary times, it might have felt important to have the stuff in that house. But in the face of a house headed downstream, one’s children have sure capacity to rise to the top as first priorities.

So it was for the children of Israel, getting out of Egypt was their first priority after years of slavery and oppressive labors, but when Pharaoh’s army came after them, the stakes suddenly turned and nothing seemed more important that simply staying alive. By God’s grace, a miracle occurred that opened the way before them and delivered them from their enemies.

So it is in any time, we can understand the love of God to guide us and lead us to His future for ourselves and our families and our community and our nation. The question is, will it take the urgency of danger, a certain threat, or a disastrous set of circumstances to get our attention away from lesser things to what ultimately matters most?

Jesus found many in his time eager to follow him out of their anxiety about where the next meal would come from, but not so interested in following him if it meant more from them than going after an easy source of food. At the same time, real sustenance for life was at the very heart of what Jesus offered -- sustaining strength and power to face whatever the world would bring. The times do come, when our heads are too often turned to “quick and easy and very temporary” interests rather than the eternal blessings of God.

The love of God and His indwelling Spirit can enable every one of us to face, as Kipling described -- “those two imposters,” “Triumph and Disaster.” Both have the capacity to overwhelm and defeat us if we forget the nature of real values that extend to the relationships with our neighbors and our Heavenly Father.

Checks and balances…ways of seeing things more clearly…are found in looking to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. His actions, his words, his calling to each of us, sets the standard that is unmatched for discovering the true riches of life.

True Stories I Wish I Never Heard…God Forgive Them!

The lady who repeatedly goes to the recently divorced mother and always asks “Where are your children today?” Note: Divorced parents often share custodial time with their children, particularly on weekends and holidays. Don’t be so insensitive as to keep asking the same question when to explain it all over again is already painful to the parent and often just plain cruel.

The preschooler’s mother who sends emails to a dozen of her children’s former classmates informing them that her child is now in the “smart class” at preschool and theirs are in the “dumb class” because the classroom supply list for her child’s room says to bring a pencil….which obviously means that her class will do advanced work that the others won’t do because a pencil is not on their supply list. Note: Many teachers supply the pencils for their students. This mother obviously is not headed to the “brilliant class” herself.

A church usher asks the same man every week…”What is your name?” Note: The usher may have a really poor memory or he may be asking only out of habit and the fact that he never bothers to really listen to the answer. If you don’t want to learn the names, don’t bother asking.

A church member voices an opinion that a certain person should not join because they are not “in a position” to contribute to the church. Note: Material contributions are not the only contributions people make. We are called to be stewards of all our gifts and chances are the person that has few physical possessions may be a person of great faith and witness to the church based upon their trust in God. For example, note the widow who Jesus commended as she gave her very last small coins. Also, Jesus described himself as “not having a place to lay his head.” Would you exclude him?

A person loudly asserts all individuals of a certain nationality to be “lazy.” Note: Caricatures of people groups are never true representations and rarely truthful in their often demeaning identifications. The last time I checked “laziness” seemed equally represented in every people group I could think of.

To see children playing whose only word to express their anxiety, their excitement, their amazement, or pretty much any other emotion…is to take the name of the Lord in vain. Note: Children do not learn in a vacuum. From television “comics”, to talk show hosts, to “movie stars”, to popular musicians, we see this disconnect with honoring God and having a worshipful attitude in the use of His name. In this case, no one blames the children, yet it does make you wonder what they hear at home.